actually, I'm a sock model
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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