ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize