Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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