It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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