what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
