just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
