Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
