i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
