you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
