Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
These tits shall not be calmed
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
