Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
