it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
