he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
