It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
