apparently the secret to your success is patron
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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