So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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