lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize