She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize