I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
