Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
