This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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