Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
