Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
smell my finger.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
