Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
