That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize