Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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