Welp...herpes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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