how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
