Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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