I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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