You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
