Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
