Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
