So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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