Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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