My hand turned me down
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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