he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
