Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
