Dual....:-)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
