who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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