I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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