Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
