Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
