I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
