Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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