i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
