Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
