We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
