Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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