this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
