I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
