I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
