So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
