Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
