then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
