It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
