I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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