dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
