How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
