bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
