Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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