Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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