so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
