your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
