i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
