I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
