I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
