Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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