we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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