Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
