I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
