you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i've created a new STD.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
